{"id":403,"date":"2003-01-23T10:13:00","date_gmt":"2003-01-23T10:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.jmatt.net\/?p=403"},"modified":"2013-11-28T02:42:57","modified_gmt":"2013-11-28T02:42:57","slug":"i-feel-safer-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.redhorse.me\/?p=403","title":{"rendered":"I feel safer now"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s always interesting to read the weekly campus police &#8220;Crime Report&#8221; in the printed version of the <a href=\"http:\/\/kykernel.com\/\">Kernel<\/a>. (I&#8217;m sorry it doesn&#8217;t appear in the online version). The headline says it contains &#8220;selected reports&#8221;, but gives no indication as to what criteria the editors use for selection.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Most of the incidents are fairly mundane, a lot of theft reports, frequent reports of marijuana usage (on a college campus?), etc. I had to admire the thoroughness of the perpetrator(s) of &#8220;cordless phone and directions for phone stolen from pediatrics clinic&#8221;. No point in stealing a phone without the directions!<\/p>\n<p>\nAnd sometimes I just have to be grateful that the cops are out there 24\/7 protecting us from these incidents. Like the &#8220;60-year-old male carrying a pitcher of Coke and pouring it on the ground&#8221;. There&#8217;s no telling where that kind of criminal activity could lead if left unchecked.<\/p>\n<p>\nAnd then there were the &#8220;four subjects attempting to skate on pond at the Gluck Equine Center&#8221;. I&#8217;m not sure whether the phrase &#8220;attempting to skate&#8221; was an indication of the officer&#8217;s opinion of their prowess on the ice. At 11:07 PM on a chilly Saturday night, one might reasonably assume the subject&#8217;s bloodstream contained reasonable levels of antifreeze, which might have somewhat hindered their &#8220;attempts&#8221;.  But since the hockey team plays at midnight on Saturdays, it might just have been a pre-game warmup. Or maybe some wannabe walkons practicing in hopes of earning a spot on the team and a chance to meet  <a href=\"http:\/\/jmatt.net\/Fun\/kylie.jpg\">Kylie<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>\nI certainly feel safer knowing evil-doers like these are being brought to justice!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s always interesting to read the weekly campus police &#8220;Crime Report&#8221; in the printed version of the Kernel. (I&#8217;m sorry it doesn&#8217;t appear in the online version). The headline says it contains &#8220;selected reports&#8221;, but gives no indication as to what criteria the editors use for selection.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-403","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9mOtr-6v","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.redhorse.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/403","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.redhorse.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.redhorse.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.redhorse.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.redhorse.me\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=403"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.redhorse.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/403\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.redhorse.me\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=403"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.redhorse.me\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=403"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.redhorse.me\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=403"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}