The UK Police Log for last week has some interesting entries, especially if the reader attemtps to make any connection between some of them. We have:
¥ Nov 11 - Suspicious persons seen in East Lot reported at 1:04 AM.
Four males with eggs.
¥ Nov 11 - Suspicious circumstances at Kirwan I reported at 4:51 PM
Subjects catching squirrels and taking off with them.
Okay, so possession of eggs is now grounds for suspicion. Maybe that’s reasonable on a college campus, where the breakfast food of choice is probably stale Twinkies. But give these guys a break. You take away their eggs, they figure they can have squirrels for breakfast, and then you break that up too!
¥ Nov 13 - Theft from 1401 Sports Center Drive reported at 9:41 AM.
Golf cart stolen.
* Nov 14 - Attempt to locate stolen golf cart reported at 6:12 PM.
Golf cart sitting in field at Transcript and Elizabeth Streets.
¥ Nov 14 - Golf cart recovered at 305 Euclid Ave. reported at 11:33 PM
¥ Nov 17 - Attempt to locate stolen golf cart in Complex Area reported at 2:47 PM
Stolen by 2 males.
It’s a little unclear just how many golf carts are involved here. Is it one that’s been leading the police on a mutiple-day chase? Or is there a sudden rash of golf cart thefts? Are they being used to chase squirrels? And you really have to admire the brilliant detective work that was required to recover a stolen cart at 305 Euclid Ave, the address of the campus police station. I just hope that doesn’t mean the thieves traded it for a cruiser that the police haven’t noticed missing yet.